February 1993, Continued...

hulaboy
February 27, 1993
Oh! Becky! Hold on to this one!
I am now in Hawaii; Oahu, to be exact, and the following tale is totally un-fucking-believable!
I came out here with a client of mine, Steven, for a long weekend and ended up staying 10 days. Not only that, I met a couple who want me to move to San Francisco with them and a guy who wants me to live here with him.
Crazy world, isn't it?
Monroe is quite cute and very nice. Then Rudy and Robert are absolutely wonderful. Why doesn't shit like this happen to me back home?
I had this great hotel all to myself since the day we arrived, Steven broke his leg. He has been in the hospital ever since. I fucked like a bunny all week long.
Got a great tan and probably gained 10 pounds on Kalhua pig and pineapple.
But now, my life is in flux. Do I move to Oahu with Rudy and Robert until they move to San Francisco or do I move here with Munroe until he eventually returns to SF? Or do I go home with the knowledge that I am an attractive guy and not come back to paradise at all?
God, like can be so complex! Read More...
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February 1993

fullsizeoutput_b0bf
February 6, 1993
In one short time, so many things can change,
A heart may lave its grieving lessoned be;
And thus my spirit was quickly rearranged
When with thy welcome voice spoke out to me
A stranger then, yes so no more
New hopes of love set I in store.
As Jason did the Golden Fleece pursue
O'er land and sea did cross in hopes to find,
My heart I know hath searched for one as you
Which you with youth some spirit did remind.
And all that rests upon our chanced meet
To me is candy bitter, and yet sweet.
I know you not, yet know thy sort full well.
For you, my soul hath searched; if not by name.
Then surely by purest want to tell
That if thou know true love, I can the same
Our hearts well met afore each face we see
And at such time comes true Delivery.
A phone call from my Frontiers ad proved him to be a "different" sort of person… made me smile Read More...
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January 1993

livewire
January 12, 1993
Ack-centuate the Positive!
My motto for today. Two years I have had this book, and it finally has a purpose. I am grateful for that. In defining its purpose I am discovering my own. So many people tell me how wonderful I am. I intend to prove it. I took steps today - calling Rich after 2 months, calling Charles to say hello, calling John to apologize, calling Pete for lunch, and forgave myself for all my carelessness in handling these relationships in the past. See, "Everyday, in every way, I am getting better and better." I finished reading a book on focusing on the positive and now will go back and USE it! School started for me today - yet another way I am improving myself. Short but to the point today. I am thankful for the chance to do it right, right now! Read More...
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November 1992

November 24, 1992
The longest journey begins with the tiniest step forward. And for a change, I am not prompted to write due to a new man in my life. No, this time I am looking for a new me in my life. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and it really frightened me that I couldn't find much to be thankful for. It isn't a good feeling to wake up each day and have nothing to look forward to. No goals. No dreams. No love. No life. I need a change. I watched Shirley MacLaine's movie "Out on a Limb" and realized that a long time ago I began a journey that I aborted and never looked for a final answer. Now it is my time to find my answer. Exercise and diet are my first tools, study and research will be next tools in my quest. I begin now. Only good food for my body. In the morning I am gonna skate down to the beach. I think it would be healthy for me to get a start before the sun sets. Read More...
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