Beach Blanket Bummer

So I've been obsessing about something for the past 24 hours and I figured that if I wrote about it, maybe I could exorcise it from my brain pan.
Last night I totally got ditched by 20 people at a party.
Let me back up and explain.
Earlier in the week, at an English department meeting, I was told that preliminary numbers show that due to some budget cutbacks, we are overstaffed by 1 position for next year. I'm the last one in, that means I'm the first one out. I was told not to worry, things may work themselves out, but at the moment, with the current data, it's looking bad.
This made me want to sort of hibernate and feel sorry for myself.
But on Friday night, I told myself that I didn't want to wallow in self pity all weekend, I was going to the bonfire beach party that my homo happy hour group was throwing. I wasn't prepared, So I dressed up like a beach clown: bright orange shorts, flip flops, Hawaiian shirt, cowboy hat, shades. I had nothing beachy in my possession, so I went to CVS and bought over $50 worth of supplies: tons of ice, a cooler for the ice, bunches of canned marg-beer-itas, bags of snacks, even a beach blanket and beach chair.
I wanted to contribute to the party, not just show up empty handed.
Then I plugged in the address for the meeting point: the Tangiers Bar at the Bahia Resort.
IMG_0771
Except when I got there, nobody was there.
I waited 20 minutes, getting more and more anxious. I explained in too much detail to the cocktail waitress that I was meeting people, I didn't want to order a drink but I was trying to contact them, they should be here, is there another bar on the property, no, ok, then this must be the one….
After 20 minutes I got on the Meetup app and posted several messages - I'm here, where are you? Did I do something wrong? Am I at the wrong place?
The directions were clear: Happy hour is inside the Tangiers Bar, then there will be a fire pit number posted when a fire pit is confirmed.
I checked.
No fire pit number was posted.
I assumed that meant people were meeting in the bar or someone would be in the bar to point the way.
I was wrong.
After 35 minutes, feeling more anxious and a little bit angry, I posted another message (nobody had replied to my previous message with any updated information) saying that I was going home feeling a bit cranky and confused.
Some time later, someone finally changed the information (it no longer said meet at the Tangiers, it just said meet at the fire rings, still no specific fire ring mentioned) and replied that they wished I had called them directly.
I hadn't thought of that.
In my semi-panic state of stress at being alone in a bar with people looking at me alone and lonely, feeling that they're thinking that I'm lying about having friends and meeting people, I just wanted out of there.
That's how my mind works.
I'm not comfortable when things do not go as I expect them to. And waiting for people is one of my major stressors.
I hate it.
So now the weekend is half over, I'm still feeling put out about spending all that money on a party I didn't go to, and then having someone tell me that I should have done blah blah blah.
Maybe now that I've typed it up, I can let it go.
Maybe.
blog comments powered by Disqus