January 1993

January 12, 1993
Ack-centuate the Positive!
My motto for today. Two years I have had this book, and it finally has a purpose. I am grateful for that. In defining its purpose I am discovering my own. So many people tell me how wonderful I am. I intend to prove it. I took steps today - calling Rich after 2 months, calling Charles to say hello, calling John to apologize, calling Pete for lunch, and forgave myself for all my carelessness in handling these relationships in the past. See, "Everyday, in every way, I am getting better and better." I finished reading a book on focusing on the positive and now will go back and USE it! School started for me today - yet another way I am improving myself. Short but to the point today. I am thankful for the chance to do it right, right now!

January 13, 1993
So, on the lighter side… I rectified any bad feelings with John over breaking our date last Saturday. I feel good about having had the courage to call him and try to explain. I also had lunch with Anette today and that was a nice warm way to spend an evening. I think I've decided to ask Teresa to move. Another positive step in my life. I even went so far as to post an ad for needing a roommate on the old BBS. School is going well… easy would be the world for it. I feel as though I am missing some of the experience, but it has been only 3 days! Time and my grades will tell.

livewire

January 21, 1993
Alors, c'est le 21 jan et je n'ai pas écrit pendant deux semaines. Tant pis. Lots is happening: I am going to Hawaii next month, and possibly to San Francisco, too. Both with clients. That may cut into my income for the month, but hell, the travel is long overdue. Teresa and I are getting along no better than before - still, a constant struggle to get what I expect from her. No, not even that, as I have learned not to expect anything from her, it is a struggle to get what I deserve and what she tells me she will give me (plants, money, etc.) I am supposed to go out with John this weekend and I finally invited Mike (Mr. Vitamin Man) to breakfast on Saturday. I need to study my francais now but will write more soon.
New thing, my affirmations. Seems Matty here needs some help in the eating disorders center. So I have decided to think my way through it. I am in control of my eating habits and will only eat healthy and necessary food for my strong and healthy body. This, or something better for the greatest good.

le 25 janvier, 1993
Salut! C'est le matin et je commenceras avec les bons mots pour mon esprit. Aujourd'hui, je vais manger bien. Je vais garder ma santé. Je seras juste avec mes penses, avec mes mots, et avec mes sentiment aux autres personnes. Je suis un homme incroyable; il n'y a pas un autre comme moi. Je m'aime. Je m'adore. J'ai une bonne sense d'humour et a cause de ca, je tiens a les problèmes de la monde. J'ai l'aire bon, les autres hommes me trouvent joli, mais plus important que ca, je sais que je suis un homme avec une grande coeur. Je suis honest, j'aime presque tous les autres du monde, et je suis heureux. Souvenez-vous, Mathieu, toujours.
Translation: Hello! It's morning and I'll start with the right words for my mind. Today, I'm going to eat well. I will keep my health. I will be right with my thoughts, with my words, and with my feelings to other people. I am an incredible man; there is no other like me. I love myself. I love myself. I have a good sense of humor and because of that, I care about the problems of the world. I look good, other men find me pretty, but more important than that, I know that I am a man with a big heart. I am honest, I love almost everyone else in the world, and I am happy. Remember, Mathieu, always.

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