November 1993

November 22, 1993
Time heals everything - so give me more time. Fucked up at work again. Hid from Clay all weekend and now he wants to know where I was when he needed me. I don't want the responsibility but I somehow want the perks. We have a meeting scheduled for after work on Tuesday to discuss "my future with the company." I have a date tonight with a guy who is seeing someone else in a "committed relationship." What am I doing?! Watched Oprah today - a show about her 35 year battle with fat. She was reading journal entries, that is what made me dig this up again. There are almost three years of history in this tome. Anyway, more on fat later.

9809281
November 23, 1993
Feeling fat & failing at keeping any sense of food program. Yet, for two years men have paid for my body. Is that counter-productive to my mental health? What is the obstacle keeping me from maintaining a diet? Why don't I hit the gym? It is not a lack of time; I spend hours in front of the television a day.

November 27, 1993
Been pigging on pizza over my anger at work. Clay is driving me like a slave. Working 10+ hours a day. Today, my Saturday, I spent 5 hours working. My Thanksgiving was enjoyable, though. Alex came over for a morning bike ride to the shore. Then we had brunch and shopping at Shoreline Village. I truly enjoy his company.
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