July 1991

July 26, 1991
Rather appropriate that I should begin to write again on the two month anniversary of my last entry. This one is called, "I Had a Dream."
In the dream, I was driving along a rather deserted highway across a sparse landscape. I am crying and wearing sunglasses. I get pulled over by a cop who asks for my ID. He then asks me to take off my sunglasses and when I do, I realize that my eyes are closed and have been the whole time. In fact, I can not open them. I think this was some sort of warning that I ought to be more careful in my search for witchcraft. I was given a Statement by a witch recently and have not yet read it. I am still reading Drawing Down the Moon. More later. Read More...
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May 1991

9106205a
May 1, 1991
New day, new month, same old shit.
Separation is now only 30 days away - the end of my marriage. The end of all I have invested in and worked at for 3 full years. Gone in a whimper; not even the courtesy of a flash! The janitor at AVED told me I looked fat tonight. My own wife couldn't tell me, but a stranger can. I do weight 249 - I caught myself just before hitting an eighth of a ton.
An eighth of a ton!
I talked with Lisa tonight for an hour or so. There is someone who, though co-dependent, can be a real friend. Hell, I went out for the first time in 6 months because of her. And this Angie thing… She is rewarded at work for being a bitch and I am punished by being made to work until 10:30 because I am dedicated. What a crock of shit! I have therapy tomorrow and am looking forward to the chance toga some insight. Liz also didn't know until Tuesday that I had asked for a separation in formal terms so we have yet to talk about that. I miss the friendship Carolyn and I used to have. I may be entering a grieving process over the loss. I just don' know what is real anymore and what I want… Read More...
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