Dragged

SashaS9
So this is crazy. I'm watching the finale of Rupaul's Drag Race Season 9 and I got misty eyed.
Oh, I already know who won thanks to FB spoilers starting at 5pm PDT.
But when Sasha and Shea finished their challenge and then just hugged each other, realizing that only one of them could move on and one of them was going home… I nearly cried.
You could see all season how these two loved each other.
You can see in their eyes, their faces, their body language that these are two people who care deeply about one another.
I miss that. Read More...
Comments

The Circus

170528-StripperCircus-215-Edit-2
Did something I haven't done in a long, long time. Went out to an actual nightclub last night - Stripper Circus at Rich's. I forgot how much I love watching gogo boys. Damn. Gogo boys. Ahem. Yes. Well, I had fun! Read More...
Comments

Getting Through

Dance_Kevin_3
I started off thinking about what it means to be a "bear" in the gay world. I did all this research about bear events and the flyers they make for them and the reality of who shows up to the events.
I started reflecting on the kinds of guys who ask me out on dates versus the kinds of guys who want to just hook up with me, and their reasons for doing so.
In a lot of ways, being a "Daddy Bear" has a certain cache in the gay scene.
But only if that daddy bear looks like a muscular underwear model who happens to have a size 34 waist instead of 30, and who maybe has a bit more chest hair than usual.
If you're a 300-pound guy with a waist much larger than your inseam, you aren't what the market is looking for. Read More...
Comments

As Gay as Can Be

14494708_10157555908590437_8602964460642343632_n
What a difference a year makes. Last year, despite having bought an annual pass with a friend, he went off to Disney's Gay Days without offering me an invitation to join in.
This year, I have made new friends and had a blast at the happiest place on earth. And then after the gay bars closed, I went to Disneyland!
The weekend of gayness and debauchery all began on Friday night.
A boy I've been trying to photograph for months let me know that he would be performing a boylesque routine at the Gossip Grill on Friday night. Rick and I went out to dinner at the Grill, then made our way inside for the show.
Being in a gay bar, it of course began more than half an hour late. The drag queens did two numbers and then took a "20 minute break" which we thought meant half an hour or more…. and since Gossip Grill was a lesbian bar, we aren't that keen on staying. Read More...
Comments

Mmmmmmmassage

massage
I'm fighting the nap that wants to take hold of me right now.
I'll try to make this quick, so I don't ramble incoherently as I succumb to the soft bed that is calling to me…
I've just come back from a 2 1/2 hour spa day and I am feeling great!
I've been back here in the US for just over 2 full years and I haven't had a single massage in all that time. While I was in Boracay I would get one a week, every week, like clockwork.
I even remember working out the math when I first got back to LA to prove that the cost of a massage in Boracay as a percentage of my total take-home income is the same as the cost of a massage in LA as a percentage of the higher take-home pay. Read More...
Comments

The End

160807-BlueandWhite-087
So this is the end of summer. Today. I go back to work tomorrow for three days of teacher meetings (cue tiny violin).
It has been a great fucking summer.
I got to spend two weeks in Orlando visiting people I love, I spent 6 weeks shooting hot guys every day in their underwear and less.
I made new friends and got involved with art events and theater events around the city.
I think one of the best things to come out of this summer is that I grew. Read More...
Comments

Happy Pride

160716-SDPride-074
For the first time in a long time, I actually went to - and enjoyed - a gay pride festival. I remember back in the day when I was young and the festival was about celebrating coming out and loving, as demonstrated on floats filled with men in speedos or less. Then I turned 30 and moved away to the UK and everything changed.
In my 30's Pride festivals seemed to be about drugs and unprotected unsafe sex in porto-johns. It was about all-night dance parties with hot fit guys, and I was not one of those.The festivals and parades also seemed to be giant commercials, "Pride hosted by Verizon!" or "Albertson's Supports the LGBT Community!" Was this gay?
By the time I was 40, I just wanted to shout: "Get off my lawn!" if the parade got too near or if the festival space slowed my commute.
But this year, I actually had fun.
Partly because they brought the speedo-clad sexy boys back on the floats. Read More...
Comments

Orlando, I Love You

PulseBenefitPH-31
I have just come back from getting LIFE!
Thank you, Orlando family, for being what I needed at this stage in the game. As I mentioned a bit ago, things with the Happy Hour Group were falling apart, and I really needed some love and fun and friendship from people I've known and loved for 5 years.
True, I did start drinking at 7pm on July 4 and didn't stop until I went to bed on July 13.
True, my body feels absolutely beat up from all the drinking and the heat and the smokey bars…
But every wince of pain reminds me that I had a fucking good time with my people in Otown. Read More...
Comments

Chinua Achebe Was Right

160613-OrlandoStrong-057
Some background:
Meetup.com is a place where you can find others who have common interests and plan to meet up. If you're into collecting Disney pins, or lawn darts, or skydiving, you can find a Meetup group to share your passion.
When I moved to San Diego, one of my first priorities was joining a Meetup group for gay men in the area. I found one specifically for single men over 35. These are my people.
Now, on to the story…
Read More...
Comments

Beach Blanket Bummer

IMG_0771
So I've been obsessing about something for the past 24 hours and I figured that if I wrote about it, maybe I could exorcise it from my brain pan.
Last night I totally got ditched by 20 people at a party.
Let me back up and explain. Read More...
Comments

Backing Away

IMG_0061
It is said that what annoys you most in others is often a reflection of what annoys you about yourself. The traits that annoy us most in others are probably the issues we most need to work on the most. Fuck that noise.
I hate flaky behavior. Read More...
Comments

Gettin' Active

12642661_485959544941680_3988470314152783851_n
My review of Friday night: Happy Hour at Top of the Bay is a beautiful location with beautiful men and views. Of men.
And I don't lie.
It may be the prettiest place I've been since I moved down here; dingy dive-y Pecs it ain't.
But this was just the end of a really great week. There is so much more to tell. Read More...
Comments

Socialite

WBC Heart Paw-01
Where do I begin this week? It's been two weeks since I wrote - I think I needed that much time to recover from that 8 hour drinking binge on Sunday Funday, which I celebrated this weekend with a 6 hour drinking binge on Friday night. Read More...
Comments

Sunday Funday

160327-PMF-079
Damn.
I took today off work. I had to.
I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and I was still drunk. I almost fell over going to the bathroom - not because it was dark, but because someone kept shaking the floor like an old rug they were airing out.
I drank a lot on Sunday.
And it's all Phat's fault. Read More...
Comments

Running Up That Hill

160327-PMF-095
Who knew that just trying one thing different - going solo to a show - could start so much change?
Yes, I dove in and went to a play by myself. And yes, I was asked to step in for a missing photographer. And they liked my work.
And I enjoyed the show.
And then that Friday night I went out with the Gay Happy Hour group and had a great time in a new bar. And then Saturday I went out to a bar that is walking distance from my apartment - WALKING. DISTANCE. - and hung out with the San Diego Bears for a social hour night. And then… Read More...
Comments

Breaking Out

"
160226-OutOfPlace-013
I know how it feels to be cooling my heels, I've been down on them long enough. But if I take to them now then maybe somehow, you'll see through the bluff, I'm not playing it ought. I've been a lifetime on deposit and that's a long time in the closet, and if you say to me, "How was it?" It was hard taking that heart-breaking god-forsaken route, but I'm (ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) breaking out."
- Oscar Drill and the Bits Read More...
Comments

Exploring

160206-JustNow-011
So much newness going on.
I've met new people, I've had a date, I've finished my first day at the new job.
Where should I start?
So my first night down here, I met up with Jeff for deli sandwiches and chatter. This past weekend I dragged him and his boyfriend out to Balboa Park to wander around taking photos. We must have walked around for an hour or more on a beautifully sunny San Diego Saturday. Then we had Chinese food in Hillcrest and enjoyed a bit of lunch together. It was nice being out and meeting new people. They invited me to a bear party that evening, but for some reason I didn't go. I'm not very good at parties unless I have an anchor friend to hang with - maybe that was it. Read More...
Comments

Moved In

Pasted Graphic
Well, February 3 began with me living in Hollywood, and ended with me living in San Diego.
I am not a Sandy Eggan. In training.
I'm really pleased with Day One: the movers were great, they did everything and sipped coffee and watched as the two Russian men loaded all my belongings into the giant truck that I didn't have to drive; the freeway was bare so that I got down to SD in just a bit over two hours, and had time for lunch and a little nap before the movers arrived to unload all my belongings into the new apartment; the apartment is huge, not just because it has two bedrooms, but the rooms are each huge; the water is clean and pure, no more yellowy tapwater from the apartment pipes; the water pressure is amazing, and hot!
So much good about the move. Read More...
Comments

Everything Changes

160121-Morning-002
I've just come back from two days in San Diego chasing what I hope will be a good dream.
I have always loved San Diego - all those night trips to the Loading Zone leather bar in the borrowed white VW Cabriolet, blue and white striped luggage in the trunk for a quick change of clothes after all-night drinking binges. I have enjoyed sleeping on the beach in front of the Hotel Del Coronado when we were too drunk to drive home after said nights. I have so many memories of SD in my 20's… and then it just stopped being a real place.
All of that is to say that I am now moving to San Diego. Read More...
Comments

A Flicker in the Dark

Two weeks of the new year are over. The holidays are now fading back into the fog.
In those two weeks, I've had two social outings - both with Roger. Nobody else seems to remember that I'm still here. Which is fine. It's giving me motivation to find work elsewhere and to, once again, move on and start over.
I have had quite a lot of interest in my resume; quite a few schools all over California and Asia have set up interviews. I was feeling really good about the fact that my resume and reputation are so positive and popular. Read More...
Comments