Dragged

SashaS9
So this is crazy. I'm watching the finale of Rupaul's Drag Race Season 9 and I got misty eyed.
Oh, I already know who won thanks to FB spoilers starting at 5pm PDT.
But when Sasha and Shea finished their challenge and then just hugged each other, realizing that only one of them could move on and one of them was going home… I nearly cried.
You could see all season how these two loved each other.
You can see in their eyes, their faces, their body language that these are two people who care deeply about one another.
I miss that. Read More...
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This Pride Flag Thing

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No one reads this anymore, so it's a good place for me to put down some thoughts about this "controversy" to change the Philadelphia Pride Flag.
I am fully aware that I say these things as a CIS-male with pinkish skin tones - hey, if this is about people of color, I want to be accurate about mine.
I am also aware that just because I am not labeled as a "person of color" my opinion will be considered racist and my thoughts on the matter will be deemed void by an entire group of apologists for the new pride flag.
And that is exactly my issue with it. Read More...
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The Circus

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Did something I haven't done in a long, long time. Went out to an actual nightclub last night - Stripper Circus at Rich's. I forgot how much I love watching gogo boys. Damn. Gogo boys. Ahem. Yes. Well, I had fun! Read More...
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Getting Through

Dance_Kevin_3
I started off thinking about what it means to be a "bear" in the gay world. I did all this research about bear events and the flyers they make for them and the reality of who shows up to the events.
I started reflecting on the kinds of guys who ask me out on dates versus the kinds of guys who want to just hook up with me, and their reasons for doing so.
In a lot of ways, being a "Daddy Bear" has a certain cache in the gay scene.
But only if that daddy bear looks like a muscular underwear model who happens to have a size 34 waist instead of 30, and who maybe has a bit more chest hair than usual.
If you're a 300-pound guy with a waist much larger than your inseam, you aren't what the market is looking for. Read More...
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Non-Reactive

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I haven't talked to anyone in 3 days.
I mean, I've gone to work, I've done my job, I've taught. But I haven't engaged with any adults on the topic of Tuesday's election.
I haven't made a Facebook post or commented on any other posts on the topic.
I haven't been texting my friends for our daily bullshit like I used to do.
I'm not shocked. I'm not stunned… Read More...
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As Gay as Can Be

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What a difference a year makes. Last year, despite having bought an annual pass with a friend, he went off to Disney's Gay Days without offering me an invitation to join in.
This year, I have made new friends and had a blast at the happiest place on earth. And then after the gay bars closed, I went to Disneyland!
The weekend of gayness and debauchery all began on Friday night.
A boy I've been trying to photograph for months let me know that he would be performing a boylesque routine at the Gossip Grill on Friday night. Rick and I went out to dinner at the Grill, then made our way inside for the show.
Being in a gay bar, it of course began more than half an hour late. The drag queens did two numbers and then took a "20 minute break" which we thought meant half an hour or more…. and since Gossip Grill was a lesbian bar, we aren't that keen on staying. Read More...
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Worst Best-Date Ever

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So I had a great date last night. And I had a really horrible date last night.
Here's what happened.
About two months ago, I met this guy on Tinder. He swiped right, I swiped right, so we knew there was some mutual attraction. He was going to Phoenix, then I was going to Orlando, so we kept chat light and breezy. No immediate plans were made to meet.
And I started working on this July photo challenge and I came up to Thursday and had 3 different guys back out on me for my "Uniform" shot.
I turned to Elias. Read More...
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Happy Pride

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For the first time in a long time, I actually went to - and enjoyed - a gay pride festival. I remember back in the day when I was young and the festival was about celebrating coming out and loving, as demonstrated on floats filled with men in speedos or less. Then I turned 30 and moved away to the UK and everything changed.
In my 30's Pride festivals seemed to be about drugs and unprotected unsafe sex in porto-johns. It was about all-night dance parties with hot fit guys, and I was not one of those.The festivals and parades also seemed to be giant commercials, "Pride hosted by Verizon!" or "Albertson's Supports the LGBT Community!" Was this gay?
By the time I was 40, I just wanted to shout: "Get off my lawn!" if the parade got too near or if the festival space slowed my commute.
But this year, I actually had fun.
Partly because they brought the speedo-clad sexy boys back on the floats. Read More...
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Getting the Shot

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I feel like I have no story for a while, then I have an overwhelming amount to say.
Here is the story for today.
I have been doing a photography challenge for a while now, since January 1, but since I'm off work during the summer, I've kicked my efforts into high gear.
This means setting a challenge for myself that has surprised even me. It also means doing things to get the shot that I want that I know I probably should do.
That's this story.
The story of how I almost died gong to Black's Beach.
But I got the shot! Read More...
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Orlando, I Love You

PulseBenefitPH-31
I have just come back from getting LIFE!
Thank you, Orlando family, for being what I needed at this stage in the game. As I mentioned a bit ago, things with the Happy Hour Group were falling apart, and I really needed some love and fun and friendship from people I've known and loved for 5 years.
True, I did start drinking at 7pm on July 4 and didn't stop until I went to bed on July 13.
True, my body feels absolutely beat up from all the drinking and the heat and the smokey bars…
But every wince of pain reminds me that I had a fucking good time with my people in Otown. Read More...
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Chinua Achebe Was Right

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Some background:
Meetup.com is a place where you can find others who have common interests and plan to meet up. If you're into collecting Disney pins, or lawn darts, or skydiving, you can find a Meetup group to share your passion.
When I moved to San Diego, one of my first priorities was joining a Meetup group for gay men in the area. I found one specifically for single men over 35. These are my people.
Now, on to the story…
Read More...
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Summer Session

Keep-Calm-English-teacher
I got a message from a colleague at my old school. You may recall that I left there rather suddenly, and that one of the main reasons was the (in my opinion) poor leadership of the principal and the lack of support she gave the staff.
I got a message that she has quit. She is not coming back next year. She is done.
For a brief moment I felt like - "Oh no! I should have stayed! Things can get better now that she's gone!" Read More...
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Dangrous Kiss

At dinner
His hand on my knee
Brushed aside
As the waiter approaches
Tension builds
He is delicious
He is dangerous
Read More...
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OrlandoStrong

westboro
As I review the events from yesterday in my mind, I remember the tweet from the Christian Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick saying that this is what we deserve ("you reap what you sow"), I remember "Pastor" Pat Robertson saying that this is God's punishment for allowing marriage equality, and I see images of the ubiquitous Westboro Baptist Church and their usual hatred... I realize: I have far more to fear from you so-called "Christians" than I do from any Muslim group. I have more to fear from your organized hatred than from any single homophobic individual. Your justification of this massacre as "deserved" hurts me far more than any bullet ever will. I am reminded of a quote often attributed to Gandhi: "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Read More...
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Long Lost Love

Mystery-Man-Avatar
So through a roundabout way, I came across a photo of the first boy I ever dated way back in high school, 1984. Thirty-two years ago.
One of my best friends, Jenny, dated a guy,we'll call him Chris, for a short while. Chris was a football jock. And secretly gay. He is now a leather pup owned by a leather bear title holder. Things change.
Since Chris knows my friend Don through the leather community, he showed up on my Faceplace page as "Someone you might know."
And next to his picture was a photo of David.
The first boy I loved. Read More...
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Two Torrid Tales, Deux

GayPulp2
OK, it's Saturday morning, I'm having coffee, I'm awake.
Time for the second tale.
So last week I met a guy - also on Tinder, I believe, though maybe on Surge (the new, all-gay version of Tinder). We flirted for a day or two, mutual chemistry, intelligent, good sense of humor, the whole lot.
Then one night we did something I haven't done since high school - we talked on the phone for 3 hours. Read More...
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Two Torrid Tales

GayPulp3
This may get a little spicy for some of you, but I have two stories to tell about two guys that I (sort of) had dates with this past week.
They're both bad, and one of the stories involves where I put my penis, so you may want to skip this if you're not ready for that kind of information.
To begin, I had this date with a guy I met off Tinder. Yes, I'm on Tinder. I figured it was less hookup-ey than Scruff or Growlr and I really wanted to go on a date.
So I meet this guy, he's shy, he says, and he doesn't want to meet in Hillcrest, so we meet at a coffee place in Normal Heights and then go have a burger and beer.
We're chatting, but I'm anxious and he's shy and it is going slowly. Read More...
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Do Esteemable Acts

GMAGALCFundraiser
I once heard Dr. Laura Schlesinger talk about how bogus self-esteem was the way parents and teachers talk about it.
"We have to give our children good self esteem" callers would say.
Wrong. Self esteem comes from within. You can't give it to anyone. If you want to feel good about yourself, you have to do esteemable acts, she would advise callers. Read More...
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Beach Blanket Bummer

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So I've been obsessing about something for the past 24 hours and I figured that if I wrote about it, maybe I could exorcise it from my brain pan.
Last night I totally got ditched by 20 people at a party.
Let me back up and explain. Read More...
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Backing Away

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It is said that what annoys you most in others is often a reflection of what annoys you about yourself. The traits that annoy us most in others are probably the issues we most need to work on the most. Fuck that noise.
I hate flaky behavior. Read More...
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Gettin' Active

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My review of Friday night: Happy Hour at Top of the Bay is a beautiful location with beautiful men and views. Of men.
And I don't lie.
It may be the prettiest place I've been since I moved down here; dingy dive-y Pecs it ain't.
But this was just the end of a really great week. There is so much more to tell. Read More...
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Socialite

WBC Heart Paw-01
Where do I begin this week? It's been two weeks since I wrote - I think I needed that much time to recover from that 8 hour drinking binge on Sunday Funday, which I celebrated this weekend with a 6 hour drinking binge on Friday night. Read More...
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Sunday Funday

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Damn.
I took today off work. I had to.
I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and I was still drunk. I almost fell over going to the bathroom - not because it was dark, but because someone kept shaking the floor like an old rug they were airing out.
I drank a lot on Sunday.
And it's all Phat's fault. Read More...
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Running Up That Hill

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Who knew that just trying one thing different - going solo to a show - could start so much change?
Yes, I dove in and went to a play by myself. And yes, I was asked to step in for a missing photographer. And they liked my work.
And I enjoyed the show.
And then that Friday night I went out with the Gay Happy Hour group and had a great time in a new bar. And then Saturday I went out to a bar that is walking distance from my apartment - WALKING. DISTANCE. - and hung out with the San Diego Bears for a social hour night. And then… Read More...
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Janet! Brad! Rocky! Me... Alone.

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In an effort to prove to myself that I am different, than I am evolving, I did something last night that I don't think I've done before: I went to the theater alone.
Yes, I've done it when I was out of town on business. When I was traveling alone in New York, of course I went to see a show or two on my own. It's fucking Broadway!
But I've not done it in my "home town." I've used Craigslist to find last-minute dates, I've sold pairs of tickets when I couldn't find anyone to go with, I've even just skipped shows when someone backs out or when I didn't plan ahead - just thrown away that money for fear of looking weird sitting in a show alone.
But this is the new me. Read More...
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Natural Masculinity

midway
I see it all the time online: "Masc 4 masc only" but I never pay much attention to it. If you're sucking dick, you can be masculine, effeminate, bearish, bullish, I don't care. I find masculine hairy men attractive sometimes; I find smooth slender, slightly feminine men attractive sometimes. There's a whole package to connect with, right? Read More...
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Breaking Out

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I know how it feels to be cooling my heels, I've been down on them long enough. But if I take to them now then maybe somehow, you'll see through the bluff, I'm not playing it ought. I've been a lifetime on deposit and that's a long time in the closet, and if you say to me, "How was it?" It was hard taking that heart-breaking god-forsaken route, but I'm (ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) breaking out."
- Oscar Drill and the Bits Read More...
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It Is Done

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So as of midnight tonight, my lease is up on my Hollywood apartment. I no longer rent two homes, and I am no longer tied to anything in Los Angeles.
In the short 3 weeks that I have been in San Diego, I have come to see that this was, indeed, a very good thing.
Sure, I said the same thing about coming back from Boracay to Hollywood, but that was akin to Romeo's mad love upon seeing Juliet, a girl he knew nothing of. I knew nothing of what life would be like in Hollywood. And it wasn't me. Read More...
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Moved In

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Well, February 3 began with me living in Hollywood, and ended with me living in San Diego.
I am not a Sandy Eggan. In training.
I'm really pleased with Day One: the movers were great, they did everything and sipped coffee and watched as the two Russian men loaded all my belongings into the giant truck that I didn't have to drive; the freeway was bare so that I got down to SD in just a bit over two hours, and had time for lunch and a little nap before the movers arrived to unload all my belongings into the new apartment; the apartment is huge, not just because it has two bedrooms, but the rooms are each huge; the water is clean and pure, no more yellowy tapwater from the apartment pipes; the water pressure is amazing, and hot!
So much good about the move. Read More...
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